Life Cycle Events
Beth Chai offers a variety of services related to Life Cycle Events for members and non-members of our congregation.
Rabbi Deborah Cohen can officiate your baby-naming, wedding or, for the more difficult times of life, a funeral or memorial. She works with couples/families, to review the amount of tradition that they would like included in their ceremony and how to reflect their progressive and humanist values in their ceremonies.
For weddings and baby-namings, her approach to life-cycle events is to personalize and customize the ceremony for the couple or family. It is your special day and a momentous occasion in your life, and she wants the ceremony to reflect that.
For funerals and memorials, Rabbi Cohen will take the time to learn about your loved one and to craft a ceremony that reflects them and their values. She finds it truly meaningful to help a family remember and memorialize.
Rabbi Cohen will officiate at ceremonies for Jewish, interfaith and LGBTQ couples and families throughout the Washington, DC, Metro area. She is happy to incorporate meaningful elements for different traditions into the ceremony. Crafting a meaningful, inclusive ceremony is a joy for her and one of her favorite aspects of her role as Rabbi of Beth Chai.
Baby-Namings
What is a Baby-naming?
A baby-naming is a ceremony in which a baby or young child receives his or her Hebrew or Jewish name and is welcomed into the Jewish community as the newest link in our tradition. It is a lovely celebration of new life with plenty of opportunities for family and friends to participate, for example grandparents often do a special reading. Older siblings are encouraged also to have a part!
Must both parents be Jewish?
No, I am happy to officiate a baby-namings for interfaith families committed to raising the child with a Jewish identity. Non-Jewish parents, grandparents and other family members are encouraged to take part in the ceremony.
Can a boy have a naming, or is it only for girls ?
Traditionally, a baby boy has a bris or ritual circumcision on his eight day of life, which includes a naming as part of the ceremony. A mohel, a Jewish professional specially trained for both the medical procedure and the ritual, performs the bris and does the naming. Today, some parents choose to have the circumcision in the hospital and then a naming at a later date. I am happy to do a naming for a baby boy in this circumstance or to attend a bris and do the naming part of the ceremony.
How do I choose a Jewish name?
If you don't have a Jewish name in mind, we can work together to choose a Jewish name for your child. A Biblical name, a modern Hebrew name or a Yiddish name are all possibilities. Ashkenasic Jews traditionally name in memory of a deceased loved one, whereas in Sephardic Jews often name in honor of the living. You can also choose a name based on its meaning, inspiring your child to values that you hold dear.
Will you do a naming for an older child?
Yes, while a naming is traditionally done when a child is a baby, it sometimes takes time for a family to decide to do a naming and to raise a child as a Jew. It can be especially meaningful to do a naming when a child is old enough to help choose his or her name.
What about an adopted child?
As an adoptive parent myself, working with adoptive families is something very near and dear to my heart. I will be thrilled to officiate at naming of your adoptive child. I do like to have a longer conversation with adoptive parents, though, to discuss the varying options for conversion and acceptance throughout the Jewish community.
Can the ceremony be more cultural than religious?
Yes, I am the rabbi at a Jewish humanist congregation. I am happy to craft a ceremony that is non-theistic and focuses on the themes of tradition, culture and family. I enjoy working with families to make their baby-naming meaningful, unique and reflective of their values.
Where does the naming take place?
Often, families hold the baby-namings at their home, but I have also officiated at baby-namings at reception halls, community centers and restaurants. My congregation, Beth Chai, meets at River Road Unitarian Universalist Congregation in Bethesda; RRUUC leases its sanctuary and meeting rooms as well.
FAQs
Weddings
What is your approach to weddings?
I work with couples to make their ceremony unique and reflective of their values and vision. I like to incorporate personalized elements, participation by family and friends and explanations of traditional elements of the ceremony. As a rabbi at a Jewish humanist congregation with a background in the Reform movement, I am comfortable officiating at both secular or ones with more traditional elements. My goal is to create a ceremony that has meaning for you.
Do you officiate at interfaith weddings?
Yes! I joyfully officiate at interfaith weddings. I will incorporate non-theistic elements from other traditions into the ceremony, for example a unity candle.
Do you officiate at ceremonies for LGBTQ+ couples?
Yes! I consider myself an LGBTQ+ ally and am happy to work with any loving couple on their wedding day.
How often would we meet before the wedding?
Typically, I meet 2 to 4 times with couples in preparation for the wedding. While I prefer to meet in person, I understand that many couples live out-of-state or have very intense work or school schedules. I am happy to arrange virtual appointments in those cases.
Funerals and Memorials
What is your approach to a funeral or memorial?
First, let me offer my deepest condolences to you and your family on your loss. I know this is probably a difficult time for you and I strive to be a support and the facilitator of sharing memories. Being entrusted with officiating at a memorial is a honor to me. I take time to talk with families and learn about their loved one and, then, to help craft a ceremony reflective of them.
When a family asks me to do a memorial, I begin by spending time talking with them about their loved one and hearing their vision for how to best memorialize them. Some families share their memories with me and, then, I deliver a eulogy that reflects their comments. Other families prefer to have family members and friends speak about the deceased. Many families choose a combination of both.
What is the cost for a lifecycle event?
For Beth Chai members, lifecycle event services are a benefit of membership.
For non-members in the DC Metro area the cost of these services including all preparatory meetings are:
Baby-naming: $350
Wedding: $950
Funeral: $500
Please reach out to Rabbie Cohen at DeborahBCohen@gmail.com to schedule a time to talk.